Extrovert

How to Go from Introvert to Extrovert

Like many other things in life, your personality is complex and falls along on a continuum. While there is evidence that your brain is hard-wired with your level of introversion or extroversion, everyone does have both introverted and extroverted traits. Most people fall somewhere on the middle of the scales.You may even feel more introverted or extroverted depending on the day or your recent experiences.This is known as “ambiversion.” Sometimes, introverts are made to feel as though there’s something wrong with them.Introversion is a natural way of being for many people, and there’s nothing wrong with it. While you may never actually 'go from introvert to extrovert,' you can take steps to embrace your extroverted traits and develop that side of yourself too..

Find your optimal anxiety.Psychologists say that there is a zone of “optimal anxiety” (also known as “productive discomfort”) that is justoutside your comfort zone. The theory behind optimal anxiety is that the presence of limited anxiety actually increases your productivity.

• For example, many people do very well when they begin a new job. Because the new job is somewhat uncomfortable for them, they put in extra attentiveness and devotion to prove to themselves and their new boss that they can do the job.
• Finding your zone of optimal anxiety can be tricky; it involves self-monitoring to find the point at which the anxiety overwhelms the productivity.
• An example of stepping outside of your zone of optimal anxiety would be starting a new job without the training or qualifications required to do the job effectively. In this case, the anxiety about not performing effectively would likely overwhelm any potential for productivity.

Push yourself a little bit. Pushing yourself a little bit past your comfort zone can help you learn new things and accomplish things you hadn’t thought possible. Becoming comfortable with getting outside your comfort zone will help you embrace your more extroverted traits, such as enjoying novelty.

• Don’t push yourself too far, though -- and take your time. Too much extension past your comfort zone creates more anxiety than is helpful, and your performance will plummet.
• Try to start small. For example, if you’re usually a quiet steak-and-potatoes-for-dinner person, jumping straight to eating still-beating cobra hearts in front of a crowd probably isn’t a good idea. Try a step that’s just slightly outside your comfort zone, such as going for sushi with a friend and trying a roll you’ve never had before.

Get comfortable with challenging yourself. Set yourself a challenge to try one new thing per week (or whatever level works for you) so that you’re regularly committed to change. One of the benefits of pushing yourself just past your comfort zone is that you will become accustomed to the optimal anxiety that creates. As you teach your brain to embrace novelty, trying new things will become less uncomfortable.

• Acknowledge that you may be uncomfortable with these challenges, especially at first. The point is not to immediately feel great about trying things that may be new to you. The point is to acknowledge to yourself that you’re up to learn new things.

Do something spontaneous. One trait of extroverts is that they love new experiences and adventure. Introverts, on the other hand, like to plan and think through every detail before taking action. Push yourself to let go of strictly managing your time and plans.

• This doesn’t mean you should drop everything and take a spontaneous, unplanned vacation to Thailand (unless you want to). As with everything else, start small and familiarize yourself with small spontaneous actions.
• For example, swing by a coworker’s cubicle and ask if he/she wants to get lunch with you that day. Take your romantic partner out for dinner and a movie without planning where you will go or what you’ll see. Small actions like these will help you get more comfortable with spontaneity in safe, rewarding situations.

Plan ahead for group interactions.When you know that you will be in public or leading an activity or a meeting, or when you will be in a large group of people, prepare and organize your thoughts. This will reduce anxiety and stress.

Join a workout class. You can still respect your introvert tendencies, of course. For example, a class in yoga might be perfect for you, since yoga involves a focus on inner meditation and quietness. Befriend the person next to you, or ask the instructor a few questions.

• Remember, you don’t have to speak to every person in a room to embrace your more extroverted traits.

Join or start a book club. This is a great way to turn a solitary activity into a social one. Book clubs will allow you to share your opinions and thoughts with others who have similar interests. Introverts often enjoy deep conversations with a small number of people, and book clubs can fit the bill.

• Book clubs usually meet infrequently, such as once a week or once a month. Because of this, they can be good for introverts, who generally don’t want to socialize as often.
• If you don’t know where to find a book club, look online. Goodreads.com functions as an online book club, where people have discussions and share opinions. Goodreads also lists many local book clubs. Find a group that seems to mesh well with your interests.

Take an acting class. It may surprise you to learn that many famous actors are strong introverts. Robert De Niro is highly introverted, yet he is one of America’s most famous actors. Emma Watson of “Harry Potter” fame also describes herself as quiet and introverted.[54] Acting can allow you to take on a different “persona” and explore behaviors that you might not feel comfortable with yourself in a safe environment. 

Join a musical group. Joining a musical group, such as a choir, band, or even a barbershop quartet, can help you make new friends. These activities can be good for introverts, since the focus on the music can take some pressure off of you to socialize.

• Several famous musicians are introverts. Country legend Will Rogers and pop star Christina Aguilera are just a few examples. 

Allow yourself down time. After you’ve pushed yourself to embrace a social situation, be sure to give yourself some quiet time to mentally and emotionally recover. As an introvert, you need “down time” in order to feel refreshed and ready to socialize again

Set guidelines for social interaction. If you’re in a relationship with someone who is more extroverted than you are, you can ask them to help you embrace your extroverted traits. However, you will benefit from discussing what you like and don’t like about socializing. Set guidelines for how you will manage your different needs.

Tell the other person how you’re feeling. Because they can be very inner-focused, introverts may not always remember to express their feelings to others. It can be hard for other people, especially those who are very extroverted, to tell if you’re enjoying yourself or if you’re desperate to hide.Tell other people how you’re feeling before they have to ask.

Respect your differences. Introversion and extroversion are just different ways of being. One isn’t superior to the other. Don’t put yourself down for responding to situations in a different way than your friends or loved ones do. Similarly, don’t judge others for how they respond to situations.

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